Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
