maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
