new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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