so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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