why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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