Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
