Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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