The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
