Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize