I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
