i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why do cheetos always look like penises
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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