oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
