My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
