You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
