You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
