Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
