Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
