How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
