ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
