Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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