I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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