I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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