you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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