ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize