Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
