we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
