wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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