i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
