Cold hands, warm shart.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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