my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
