Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
