This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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