let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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