Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
