i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
