i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
