oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
