Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
