Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
