I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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