Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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