what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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