I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
