Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
