I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
