Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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