Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
