It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
