My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
