This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
