question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
be right there i have to get my cape
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
