I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Farmville is her only friend.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
