I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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