Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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