you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
