my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
