Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and she was petting her beer can
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
