Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
