I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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