He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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